more venting and another positive Dr. apt.

Life, I’m seriously trying to make the best out of you.  Every day I DO feel closer to being content, but I think I’m still quite a way’s away.  For the most part, at home or with my kids, I’m feeling in control of our situation and feeling the same as always.  The problem seems to be when I can’t be with the kids, especially C.  When he’s at school or daycare and I have to be at work.  It think it’s just fear of not being in control if there’s a problem.  Daycare seems to be harder for me.  At school, the health tech sees what I do every day.  If I couldn’t be there, she’d pretty much know the routine.  At daycare, he just goes there and that’s it.  He rarely needs insulin when he’s there and he’s only there a few hours at a time.  When he’s low, he takes care of it.  I’m not sure they know what to do.  He’s got a glucagon kit there and I’ve explained it, but I’m not very clear about whether or not they’d no what to do if he needed it.  I’m also not sure that all of the counselors know about it.  Sometimes (holidays) there are other counselors there and I don’t even know if they know he’s got diabetes.  A few know that he’s got celiac, but I don’t think any know what it means other than he can’t have any food unless I send it with him.  It’s super hard to let go of the control and safety that I know I can provide and wish him a great day.  On top of that, I’m supposed to go to work and focus on  my job.  Even though it’s only now at 3 hours a day, it’s really difficult.  There aren’t a lot of people who understand this.  Well, I’m sure there are millions that do, but unfortunately they’re not my daycare provider or my boss.  If they were, maybe I could get rid of this headache.
Anyways, this morning we were back to the endo.  She decided not to change anything right now being that we MIGHT be getting the pump next week.  She likes his numbers at this point.  Hallelujah.  They also gave the boys skateboards for Christmas.  So sweet.  They really are such a great office.  I asked if they had the H1N1 flumist in again for E and they had a very limited supply.  Since he was with us they just went ahead and gave it to him while were there.  I’ve never been happy with our doctors’ offices.  It’s such a nice change!  I always feel so much better after our visit to the Dr.